Define Me
by ImmortalRoseOfTheThorns
Summary: Castiel asks Dean what love feels like and contemplates his relationship with Harry. Castiel/Harry/Dean. slash. angst. ONESHOT


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Summary: Castiel asks Dean what love feels like and contemplates his relationship with Harry. Castiel/Harry/Dean NOT THREESOME! Set some point in season 5.

**Date: 30/05/10**

**Words: 883 (just a little drabble)**

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**Define Me**

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"What does love feel like?" Castiel asked.

Dean Winchester started, almost choking on his beverage as he turned to give the angel in question a funny look. The two of them, as well as Dean's younger brother Sam and their fellow hunter, and also the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice, Harry, had finally caught a break between, you know, fighting the devil and thousands of other demons, as well as countless hours of driving to pull into a bar, to eat and drink. When they had finished eating (the three humans at any rate), Sam and Harry had made a bet that whoever won a game of pool won over two hundred dollars and they had yet to return to the table, too caught up in their rare moment of fun. Dean had spent the past half hour watching his brother and boyfriend (he hated that word; lover maybe? He had yet to decide what to call him), staring quite openly as the wizard bent over the table to take his shot, stretching the material of his jeans over his ass.

Oh yes, Dean was quite enjoying himself for the first time in a very long time.

"Uh, well...you can't actually describe it. Its different for everyone" Dean said in an offhanded way, rubbing the back of his neck. He already had been forced in to chick moments with Harry and even Sam. Cas, now. Really?

"What is love like to you?" the angel persisted, looking genuinely interested.

"Harry" he said simply, with a shrug. "In hell, Harry kept me going" he explained at Castiel's trademark confused frown. "The thought that he was safe...he and Sam were looking out for each other and Bobby...it made me think that all the bad things I was doing" he admitted. "I was doing it for a reason. To keep the two of them breathing. I think it was what kept me sane for all those years"

"You care very deeply for him" it wasn't a question. Dean smiled and his eyes held the same look he gave Harry every moment he saw him. _Was that love?,_ Castiel thought.

"Seeing Harry's face in the morning...being able to speak to him every day, tell him how much I care. Knowing that his heart is still beating and that he cares about me. It makes my chest hurt, I feel so much for him" he said, placing his hand above his heart and looking embarrassed about it, so he relapsed his beer bottle instead. "Sure, sometimes we hate each other so much we could actually kill each other. We piss each other off everyday but it's worth it" he joked. "It lets me know he cares. During this whole apocalypse and with Lucifer...I don't care if I die or not...just as long as Harry is ok. When you love someone, you would destroy, kill and even kill yourself just to make sure they are ok. Just to see them smile one more time" he smiled himself glancing to the brunet.

"Now I know why my Father allows you to love. It shapes who humans are" Castiel realised with a nod. He cursed the fact his Father allowed him to do the same and still expect him to be loyal.

"You got that right" Dean said, smiling over at where Harry and Sam were now squabbling over who had won the game. He coughed and cleared his throat. "now after this little chick flick moment we just had, Cas, I feel like we should do something manly, you know to make up for it. So I'm going to go get drunk and try to convince Harry to have sex in a public restroom". He smirked and winked, moving from their seats. As he passed the two hunters on his way to the bar, he pulled the smaller brunet around to face him, and stopped his cry of protests as Sam picked up his winnings, by placing a chaste kiss upon his lips.

Harry smiled and pressed another against his lips, deepening it, while Sam pretended to gag from beside them and Castiel pretended that that didn't spark anger deep within his chest. Dean gave the brunets ass a squeeze, muttered something in his ear with a smirk before wandering over to the bar. Harry laughed, before he himself walked over to Castiel, hitting Sam with the stick as he went.

"I want that money back, Winchester" he called, over his shoulder, stopping at Castiel's table. Castiel gulped, as he felt his palms go clammy. He cursed his every growing humanity.

"Dean said you needed to do something manly 'because you had a chick moment as he calls them". Harry rolled his eyes and then smiled at him, waving the cue stick at him. "Want to have a game? I can teach you if you want"

Castiel decided that he did know what love was. It was the clenching in his chest and the thunderous beating in his heart whenever the wizard was beside him. It was the power given to him when the man was beaten down by numerous demons and angels and Castiel had to help.

He loved Harry Potter.

And he regretted the fact he arrived a year too late to tell Harry that. He regretted that he loved Dean Winchester first.

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**Review ****first Dean/Harry (what's their pairing name I wonder; Harean? No idea. What do you guys think?) Took about five minutes but I really want to know what you guys think.**

**What would Harry/Castiel be called? Umm...this needs a lot of thought. Won't be a proper pairing unless they have names...**


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